There are times in Tobacco Control when something so ludicrous comes along that it’s impossible to caricature it. Take this nonsense for example. I must confess I had to look at the calendar to see if it was April 1st, but guess what, no it wasn’t.
This it would appear is genuine. Like most politically correct crap that infests our society it will eventually paddle its way across the pond from the US and dump itself on our shores – much to the delight of course of the rabid mouth frothing anti-smoking zealots.
Just like quangos here in the UK which are awash with tax-payers money, it’s more or less the same in the US only it’s the Universities that gobble up tanker-loads of money from hard working people. The University of Alabama is the recipient of $402,721 (approx £270,000) from the National Institute of Health (NIH) for a 3 year study being run by Dr Edward Sazonov and associate professor, which so far has produced a prototype of a monitoring system that (you’ll love this) is in the form of a pair of under pants which when worn can tell when and how often people smoke, and how deeply smokers inhale.
So rather than ask people how much they smoke and expect honest replies under controlled conditions then these pants will supply that information which will then be fed to a computerized data base. Fuck me almighty – eh? What kind of sick shit is this? I bet our Dr Sazonov was salivating at the prospect of getting this loot for such infantile bollocks – or perhaps he was wetting his pants eh? Oooh matron – no pun intended.
The idea of this paranoia with smoking crap invention is to eliminate the need for self-reporting about how much people smoke, so that improved smoking cessation strategies can be forced upon the poor hapless and beleaguered smoker over time. I’m not sure how this would pan out on a practical basis in the real world. Anyway, when you’re going for balls out prohibition then everything is up for grabs – right? Demonise, harangue, and persecute for the sheer hell of it, why not – after all nobody will care will they?
He was asked if he will be applying again for grants when this tranche of funding ends this summer, Dr Sazonov replied, “We definitely want to continue with this research, yes.” I just bet he fucking does – hell, would you jump off the world’s biggest gravy train when you didn’t have to?
But does he intend at some stage that people be forced to wear them so that monitoring can take place to satisfy the sick heads of tobacco control? Will smokers be herded into specially built centres; you know something akin to WW11 nissen huts…for their own good you understand. At first the whole thing might be voluntary, but if that doesn’t work what then…legislate?
But there is one glowing advantage though and it’s a big one. Maybe this twat and three-quarters can tweak the pants so that every time you light up they’ll give you a blow-job.
Or how long you do think it would be before this nutty cunt would have this light bulb idea…fitting them to babies nappies so that they can detect if parents are smoking when handling their babies at any time and anywhere. Oh man, isn’t that beautiful…ha, ha, ha the possibilities are endless!
Listen…I’m going outside to whack my head really hard against a brick wall…care to join me?
Yes indeed the title of my blog post might seem ridiculous but there is some truth to this...Chapman could actually be on the mellow. Why not read on and see what you think. I must confess I could hardly believe it myself at first. I've had to go and lie down in a cool room with a warm mug of cocoa and a rich tea buscuit!
Now then - pull your pants (or panties if your a lady), up tight and listen in.
It would appear that even the most strident of anti-smoking zealots will only go so far. Simon Chapman seems to have a conscience after all. Hard to believe isn’t it? Now, the New South Wales government according to Chapman has gone way too far with its restrictive practices on not allowing psychiatric patients to enjoy the dignity of enjoying a smoke without the incessant interference of bullying authorities wanting to coerce patients into following a smoking cessation programme whether they want to or not.
A young man called Ashley Coleman suffering from schizophrenia was found dead at a nearby railway station after committing suicide because he didn’t want to submit to any smoking cessation programme rules brought in by the NSW Parliament last year. Each and every patient must now engage with the lovingly entitled ‘tobacco replacement programme’. Included in this bullying kit, are of course, the ubiquitous nicotine patches (which don’t work and never have), classes to educate the poor saps daring to smoke – and if you’re really good and you’ve eaten all your porridge – you might even get a pass to leave this hell hole for a short while. Nice huh?
Our dear Professor Chapman said that he favours ''dedicated smoking zones where people can go''. No kidding, er anything else? Wait for it – make sure you’re sitting down for this, he goes on ''There are some important and under-discussed ethical issues in depriving people of their rights,'' he said. ''But somehow, when you are a patient, your rights to do as you please are suddenly suspended - even if you are not hurting other people.'' Jesus did he really say that? Don’t know about you but I’m going to read that again! Did he talk about depriving people of their rights? This from a man who has previously oozed zealotry in bloody big dollops and doesn't believe that smokers' have rights.
A second incident took place in another Hospital’s mental health ward when an autistic and schizophrenic patient who wanted to smoke but was told he couldn’t – unfortunately gave way to an emotional outburst. He then was punished for this behaviour by being put in ‘total isolation’ for 48 hours. Great eh? Now that’s what I call humanity.
Anyway here’s real compassion from some rotting fish head called Anne Jones of Action on Smoking and Health Australia who says “mental health units were given a much longer period of time to go smoke-free and it would be a ''retrograde step'' if they returned to the ''bad old days''. They were given a much longer period to go smoke free. So what – that’s completely meaningless. Her arse goes on to say ''There is overwhelming evidence that the health and treatment of people with psychiatric illnesses is significantly worsened if they smoke - and significantly improved if they quit''. Overwhelming evidence? From where...would you like to share this evidence with us anytime soon?
Well there you have it. Chapman doesn’t suddenly see eye to eye with fellow zealots and wants to show some compassion – well I never.
Be careful Professor Chapman – otherwise you’ll find yourself on some zealot's hit list if you start turning into a real human being with compassion – and worse still you don’t have their permission.
